Sunday, November 25, 2007

Student hunter does his part

Junior Theology Major Rodney "The Croucher" Digby,19, demonstrates his terrorist calling abilities early Wednesday morning. "It's like this, if nobody else is going to keep us safe here on campus then its my right as a Texan to make sure this campus is free of chinks and rag heads," proclaims Digby. Digby sets up his post each morning before his 9 a.m. Concepts of Intolerance 351 class. It was noted that near the butt of Digby's rifle was a pile of frisbees and hacky sacks. When asked about said pile, Digby grumbled "damn hippies are just as bad as the terrorists." It has been assumed that protesters of Digby and his efforts are either enticing him to a rousing game of ultimate frisbee or hurling them at his genitals.
This heightened sense of security is in response to the influx of non-American students to the A&M University system in search of an education. This proverbial flocking has weighed heavily on the heart and mind of this young student. So Digby decided to do something about the problem and is now a proud member of the Coalition of Christ Knowledgeable Students or COCKS, where there motto is simple, Do it for God and do it without reason. COCKS is an organization committed to the cleansing of the student body of any impurities.
When asked if he attends class while camouflaged he replies,"what the hell kind of question is that? Of course I wear my camo, if I don't show my support for Cabelas and Wal-Mart...well I'm afraid the terrorists have won."
I think we can all sleep a little safer knowing that people like Digby and organizations like the COCKS are out there everyday making doubly sure that if those bastards from Iraqisatan, or whatever the hell its called, ever decide that terrorising our med schools and engineering departments is worth more than there lives, well than their gonna have to tangle with these roughnecks.

Students around campus generally dismiss Digby and other COCKS members, based on the fact that no person, with such an intolerant outlook on immigrants or an acute dismissal of rational thought could ever be elected or appointed to any position of power.

Photo taken Wednesday at 6:45 am
on the "Quad" of Texas A&M. Digby
crouches near the "Millennium Tree",
a sight frequented by chinks and
rag heads otherwise known as
Physics majors.

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