Monday, December 10, 2007

NAMBLA President caught in a lie

Former president of NAMBLA, Jefferey Mackins denied comment on the latest news that he was found in a consensual relationship with a middle aged woman. President Pro-Temp, Bruce Naismith submits this statement, "On behalf of NAMBLA, I express deep sorrow that Mr. Mackins decided to live a life heterosexuality, despite the fact that there we at NAMBLA are working so hard to protect our way of life." Mr. Mackins girlfriend, whom we will call Ruth, is described as lovely young woman. Friends say she is a successful New York attorney that enjoys calligraphy and walking her golden retriever Buddy. "As we all know NAMBLA members are sick fucks and deserve to be ridiculed. But you can't help to feel sor...wait a second, some ex-NAMBLA dude is dating a lawyer? This guy? Holy shit, if its gonna be that kind of party I'm gonna stick my dick in the mashed potatoes," notes a passer-by when asked for comment. While it is not entirely clear what he was trying to say, one thing is obvious, the Beastie Boys play an important role in New York City street life and we all hope that the Mix Master Mike, MCA, Mike D and Ad rock personally whoop each and every NAMBLA members ass.